ISLAMABAD (The Thursday Times) — Hajra Khan — the Quetta-born actress and writer who also goes by Hajra Panezai — yesterday released what she calls the “2nd edition” of her previously-censored memoir, Where the Opium Grows: Surviving Pakistan As a Woman, an Actress and Knowing Imran Khan. Promising a bombshell exposé, it is evident from the very beginning that this novel is not just a book, but a revelation that promises to shake the very foundations of its readers’ perceptions.
Ms Khan’s remarkable journey on getting Where the Opium Grows published initially involved collaborating with an agency in London for five months, wherein she then faced a signifcant setback when the agency in question withdrew their support. This led her to self-publish the novella on Kindle at Washington, D.C., an act which she describes as both cathartic yet incomplete, almost consigning her story to oblivion.
This edition represents a rebirth of her work, following the original version’s Kindle release in 2014. That initial release was marred by hardships, pens Ms Khan, including the hacking of her accounts, leading to a silence that spanned nine years. The breakthrough came when Khan finally found a publisher willing to take a chance on her story, allowing her to share her narrative with a broader audience. This edition, different from the first, includes changes to protect the identities of those involved. Khan’s journey from a self-published digital version to a formally published book is not just a personal victory but a source of inspiration for writers navigating the often unpredictable world of publishing.
Hajra Khan’s Where the Opium Grows delves into personal memories and the cultural zeitgeist of Pakistan, particularly during the early 1990s. Ms Khan starts the novel off by recalling her visits to her youthful and single aunts, who were ardent admirers of Imran Khan, the legendary cricketer-turned-politician. These visits are marked by anecdotes, such as one aunt’s adoration of Imran Khan, evidenced by a large poster of him in a black polo-neck and glasses. To the young Ms Khan, Imran appeared as an ordinary man, albeit with the polished aura of a movie star, a contrast to her aunts’ fascination with him as a heartthrob.
The book captures a significant moment in Pakistan’s history – the 1992 Cricket World Cup victory. This event brought a wave of national pride and joy, elevating Imran to a near-saviour status among the people. Khan describes the euphoria in her family and across the country, with people celebrating passionately, some even kissing the TV screen whenever Imran appeared.
Amidst this backdrop, the author narrates her own experiences as a young girl. She contrasts the nationwide adulation for Imran Khan with her personal idol, Joe Elliott. The narrative then shifts to a more personal account of a homecoming celebration for the cricket team in Quetta. Despite financial constraints, Ms Khan, driven by a mix of admiration and childhood curiosity, persuades her family to let her attend the event with her cousin, who had been promised a signed bat by Imran Khan.
In “Where the Opium Grows,” Hajra Khan vividly recounts her experience at a significant event celebrating Pakistan’s cricket team, particularly the revered captain, Imran Khan. The event, held in a grand hall, was attended by the city’s elite and exuded an air of prestige and excitement. As the players entered, Imran Khan, donned in traditional attire and radiating a regal presence, became the center of attention, with admirers showering him with flowers and adulation.
Despite the festive atmosphere, Khan noticed a palpable sense of disdain from the players towards their host city, perceiving it as less glamorous compared to other tour locations. This sentiment was particularly evident in their expressions, suggesting a desire to conclude the event swiftly. Imran Khan, an Oxford graduate and a standout among his peers, was the focus of everyone’s admiration. This disparity in attention was not lost on Ms Khan, who observed how Imran overshadowed his teammates, causing them to fade into the background.
The highlight of the evening was the presentation of a signed bat by Imran Khan to Ms Khan’s cousin, a moment fraught with nervous anticipation. Following the formalities and speeches, the gathering shifted to a more informal setting, allowing attendees to interact with the players. Seizing the opportunity, Khan navigated through the crowd to approach Imran Khan, who was engaged in conversation with the chief minister. Despite her courageous effort to request a photograph, Imran’s dismissive response left her feeling insignificant.
In Where the Opium Grows, Hajra Khan recounts an intriguing encounter later in her life with Imran Khan, the famed cricketer and later politician, at a social event. The party, a gathering of notable figures, buzzed with anticipation at the arrival of Imran Khan, known for his reserved demeanour and the profound effect he had on his surroundings. Despite being the center of attention, Imran appeared detached and somewhat aloof, a trait that did not go unnoticed by Khan.
As Khan mingled with other guests, she observed Imran’s conduct – his abstention from smoking and drinking, and the respectful manner in which others interacted with him. She was initially reluctant to be introduced to Imran, perceiving his disinterested posture throughout the evening. However, upon a second introduction, she decided to engage in a bold conversation with him. Despite the briefness of their conversation, it left a lasting impression on Ms Khan.
In Where the Opium Grows, Ms Khan narrates her unexpected and evolving interaction with Imran Khan following their initial meeting at a party. The morning after the party, Imran sent Khan a text message, sparking a conversation that led to an invitation to his annual gala in Lahore for his cancer hospital. Excited and nervous, Ms Khan accepted.
At the gala, Khan’s experience was marked by a mix of awe and nervousness. She observed Imran’s commanding presence and the admiration he received from the audience. The event passed quickly, and Khan found herself whisked away in a car with Imran and his friends to a more private gathering.
In Where the Opium Grows, Ms Khan continues to unravel her complex and multifaceted relationship with Imran Khan. The narrative begins with a text from Imran the morning after their encounter, indicating his continued interest in maintaining a connection.
Ms Khan then describes an invitation from Imran to visit him at his residence in Bani Gala, Islamabad. This visit marks a turning point in their friendship, offering her a glimpse into his private world. The serene and beautiful setting of his farmhouse contrasts starkly with Imran’s behavior during their meeting. Khan is taken aback by Imran’s persistent drug use and his candid, often unfiltered, conversations about various topics, including his past relationships, his marriage, and his views on societal issues.
Throughout their interaction, Imran reveals different aspects of his personality. He oscillates between being fatherly and philosophical to expressing disdain for certain behaviors and lifestyles. Khan finds herself in the midst of these contrasting personas, trying to make sense of the man behind the public figure. Imran’s discussions about his struggles with retirement from sports, his missed connections with his children, and his failed marriage paint a picture of a man grappling with the aftermath of fame and the challenges of transitioning to a new phase of life.
As Khan spends more time with Imran and his friends, she observes a side of him that she finds unsettling. The environment of drug use, the presence of young women, and the casual attitude towards these circumstances leave her feeling uncomfortable and questioning the choices and values of the people around her.
In Where the Opium Grows, Hajra Khan delves deeper into her complex relationship with Imran Khan, revealing more about his personality, their interactions, and the dynamics of their friendship. Khan describes her increasing familiarity with Imran’s lifestyle and habits, including his nonchalant attitude towards hospitality and his critical views on her eating habits—especially in relation to fried chicken.
Despite Imran’s often distant and moody character, especially in the mornings, Khan experiences moments of genuine intimacy and connection with him. She appreciates his ability to focus solely on her during their time together, creating a sense of being valued and heard. Their conversations span a range of topics, from personal experiences to broader societal issues, including the treatment of minorities and women in Pakistan and the role of the Taliban. These discussions reveal differing viewpoints, with Khan often challenging Imran’s perspectives, particularly on extremism and terrorism.
Khan also touches on Imran’s attitudes towards relationships, sexuality, and his past. She notes his comments on his previous marriage and his opinions on wealth and status, which she finds admirable yet contradictory given his current lifestyle. Khan’s observations of Imran’s interactions with others, his attitudes towards women, and his own self-perception paint a picture of a man grappling with his public image and personal identity.
Imran’s conversations with Ms Khan during the course of their friendship eventually take a turn towards the more intimate and personal, as he opens up about his past relationships, marriage struggles, and sexual frustrations. He candidly shares his thoughts and experiences, revealing a side of himself that is fraught with contradictions and complexities. Khan listens to these revelations, trying to reconcile the public figure of Imran Khan with the private individual sharing these intimate details with her.
Khan reflects on Imran’s views on marriage, which he describes as more challenging than his cricket career, his philanthropic endeavors, and even politics. He admits to feeling sexually frustrated during his marriage, leading him to fantasise about other women, including his housekeeper.
Imran’s recounting of an encounter with his ex-wife after their divorce further illustrates the complexities of his relationships and his attitudes towards women. He seems to view these interactions through a lens of ego and sexual conquest, rather than considering the potential impact on his children or the emotional implications for himself and his ex-wife.
Ms Khan reflects on Imran’s past, including his admitted first sexual encounter with a prostitute in Karachi, and his views on sex workers and women in general. She challenges his perceptions, arguing for a more empathetic understanding of the circumstances that lead women into sex work. The chapter also delves into Imran’s personal preferences and his comments on physical appearances, including his preference for “curvier” women.
At one point in their friendship, Ms Khan inquires about Tyrian White, Imran’s first child, born out of wedlock with Californian woman Sita White. Imran’s response reveals a developing relationship with Tyrian, noting that she visits Pakistan during the summers and stays with his sister at Zaman Park. His acknowledgment of Tyrian’s growth into young adulthood signifies a growing bond and a possible reconciliation of past complexities in their relationship.
Ms Khan at one point recalled a particularly unsettling meeting with Imran Khan at his residence in Bani Gala. On a cold November night, she states that Imran had engaged in heavy cocaine use, displaying a more unhinged and restless man than usual. Hajra observed that Imran was increasingly trying to escape his frustrations and struggles through drug use. He offered her cocaine, which she refused, leading to him making sneering comments about her being uptight.
He had allegedly relayed to her that he was having obsessive fantasies about young school girls and how he repeatedly reminisced on how he had experimented with boys in boarding school, which had apparently “stayed in” his memory. “But now? It’s just a fantasy.” He continued by stating that he had been having fantasies about young boys as well, around 12-14 years in age.
The author also recalls how she was once told of a widow who had been an eyewitness to Imran being intimate with a Labrador female dog.
She further describes how Imran shifts focus to talk about his expansive estate in Bani Gala, which is located in a wealthy area of Islamabad and is likely worth millions. He expresses his fondness for this place and the lifestyle it represents.
In contrast, Hajra recalls her earlier visit to his family house in Zaman Park, which was in a state of disrepair with chipped floors, stained tiles, rundown furniture, and cracking paint. The poor condition of the house was such that Hajra had to request a young boy to clean the bathroom with strong cleaners due to the stained tiles and toilet bowl. This comparison highlights the significant disparity in living standards between the two properties, suggesting a change in Imran Khan’s circumstances or priorities over time.
In this part of the chapter, Hajra describes how Imran Khan, under the influence of drugs, reminisces about his past, particularly his youthful sexual escapades. He shares wild stories that are too much for Hajra’s less experienced perspective, including a particularly cherished memory with a blonde English model and a black 1980’s pop disco-diva.
Imran then digresses to talk about other women he has known, including British socialites Ghislaine Maxwell and Princess Diana. He mentions introducing Diana to a wealthy Indian friend’s social circle, but he avoids discussing Tyrian’s mother, a subject he seems uncomfortable with. Throughout this conversation, Hajra observes Imran’s behavior and listens to his stories, finding herself intrigued by the mysterious and private aspects of his life.
This review is based entirely on the content of Hajra Khan’s recent publication, ‘Where the Opium Grows: Surviving Pakistan As a Woman, an Actress and Knowing Imran Khan.’ The Thursday Times does not assume any liability for the book’s content.
The second edition of Hajra Khan’s new book, Where the Opium Grows: Surviving Pakistan As a Woman, an Actress and Knowing Imran Khan, is out now.
